Sunday, July 22, 2007

Give The Poor Guy A Helping Hand

Never loose hope. That is the message of the following story. Even if the date does not work out and you may never see her again...well, there is still hope for some goodbye fun. So get up the courage - and even is she cannot stand you... ASK! (This is the second in Ang's from Nashville funny date stories. The first bad date was "Bring a Hooker to Dinner With Your Date".)

About four months after recovering from the hooker incident, I accepted a date a man who often visited my neighbor. "Todd" wasn’t the best looking guy in the world, but he was rather persistent, so we went to coffee at Starbucks after work one day. I left my car at work and he picked me up.

After sitting down with my espresso and his straight-out-the-canister blend (that should have been a good indication of how interesting he was), he started talking. WE didn’t start talking. HE started talking. And before long I was daydreaming about sorting my laundry, making grocery lists in my mind for shopping trips I’d make two years down the road, wondering how proton laserbeam therapy actually works. He never asked me a question, never paused for me to speak. I did manage an occasional "hm," "uh huh," "oh."

Thirty minutes later I excused myself to the bathroom and when I returned picked up my purse and said, "Well, we better get going!" He started talking again, all the way to the car, all the way back to my car. Finally, when we reached our destination. Safe at last!

Ang: Thanks for the coffee, Todd. See you!"

Todd: (touching my arm) Wait, can I see you again? I really like you!

Ang: No, I don’t think so, Todd. But thank you.

Pause.

Todd: Hm. Well…ok…do you think I could just get a handjob then?

Ahem! You’d think after nearly sharing an appetizer with a hooker a few months earlier I would have been totally on my game. But no, I was shocked. So I just started clapping.

Ang: Bravo, Todd! You are SUCH a funny man! Bye now!

And I got out of there as fast as I could. I’d see him occasionally at my neighbor’s house and every time we saw each other I never said a word. I just started clapping.

Ang from Nashville

You too can post your dating story on Dates Out Of Hell. Click here to find out how!

1 comment:

Olivia Love Worthy said...

You are SO funny! Obviously you were in a terrible situation but I love the way you handled it, and the fact that you clapped when you saw him at the neighbors' HA HA!