Saturday, July 21, 2007

Bring a Hooker to Dinner With Your Date

It is amazing to what lengths some people will go to achieve their fantasy. This one guy certainly proves the adage that some males will do anything for his fantasy to come true. Disneyland for adults - and a woman smart enough to run as fast as her feet would carry her.

Soon after my divorce in 1998 I moved from Montana to Nashville and found, at the age of 35, that dating was very different than it had been when I was in my early 20s. I blame the growth of internet pornography on every weird and freaky dating incident that happened to me in Nashville. It’s either that or inbreeding down here.

So after a few months in my new home I met a gorgeous man at a local restaurant. Even my girlfriend/dinner partner was in awe of this tall, charming, and handsome man in the navy suit. He was the author of a children’s book and ran some kind of company in the Brentwood area. “Tom” asked me out on a date, and I couldn’t say “yes” fast enough.

On our first date we went to dinner at a lovely restaurant. Tom was sweet and funny, although he pried a little too much into my personal life and that made me slightly uncomfortable. But after walking me to my car and shaking my hand goodnight, I was impressed enough to say “yes” when he asked me out on a second date.

The following week we were to meet at another, nicer restaurant in the Cool Springs area of Franklin. I was running a bit behind so I called his mobile phone to let him know. He said, “It’s okay, we’re waiting here at the restaurant.” Strange. We? When I arrived I found him at a table with a GORGEOUS blonde woman. I mean, she was absolutely gorgeous, like Miss America gorgeous. I sat down and looked at them both. No one said a word. I finally said to the woman, “Hi! Who are you?” Before she could speak, Tom said, “This is Diana and she’s a friend from Atlanta. She’s here for the weekend.” I said, “Oh! That’s wonderful!” More uncomfortable silence settled over the table. Finally Tom spoke and it went something like this:

Tom to Ang: I got us a room at the Holiday Inn on Old Hickory Blvd.

Ang to Diana: Oh, is that where you’re staying?

Tom to Ang: No, I got us a room at the Holiday Inn.

Ang to Tom: Oh, you’re both staying there?

Tom to Ang: NO. I GOT US a ROOM at the HOLIDAY INN. US. (running his finger through the air around the table)

Ang to Tom: But I don’t need a room, I only live a few miles from . . .

Raised eyebrows all around.

I stood up quickly and tried to think of something to say—something that would have been very Ava Gardner or Carole Lombard at that very moment. But nothing escaped my lips. I was just crushed. So I grabbed my purse and ran out of the restaurant.

It would have been nice if the story had ended there. But the next day Tom called me and told me I was rude to his friend and that he paid a heckuvalotta money for Diana to be there.

Well, how absolutely inconsiderate of me!

I gave cute names to all my bad dates. I call this one Bring a Hooker to Dinner Man.

Ang from Nashville

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